Two Weeks Notice

Dear Employer,

I apologize that I have not done the job I was hired to do.  I know you thought I was capable but I guess I should have read the job description a little bit closer and not embellished my proficiency.  This is definitely not a job I can do any longer, and to be honest I’m not sure anyone is cut out for this job.  The pay is terrible, there are no vacation days, I don’t get a lunch break, I work WAY over 40 hours a week to the point that I’m pretty sure its not legal (I mean who works full time and still has to be on call for the graveyard shift 7 days a week??), I didn’t receive any training prior to my first day, my employees are disrespectful, and most days I feel that I haven’t made a friend since I’ve been here.  It really is the hardest job anyone could ever have.  So thank you for the chance to give it a try, but I am putting in my notice now.  I hope the workplace doesn’t fall apart without me, considering I am the only one in charge of almost everything here.


Your {soon to be ex} disgruntled employee

This, of course, is not a real letter.  But if I could quit my job today, this is what I would say.  I have just spend the last full two hours rocking a hysterically screaming baby while a two year old cried in the next room and there was nothing I could do for either one of them.  I haven’t showered or had lunch yet so I feel and look much like a zombie, but I put blogging first because I still hear some rustling sounds coming from the baby room and I’m not sure I have time to shower now.

The terrible thing is that when I think that maybe I should get a job, I have no idea what job I would do that would be worth leaving my home for.  I’m not qualified for any job besides working at the grocery store or a restaurant.  I’ve always wanted to be a professional dancer (something else I thought I’d post about today so maybe later) but I live in a small country town and that is clearly not an option.  I’ve tried for 6 years to be successful at teaching some sort of dance but it almost always ends up backfiring.  And now the position that I thought was meant for me has been taken over by a middle aged man who has never danced before (no offense if you happen to be reading this, you really are great).  Note to self: Don’t take maternity leave and expect things to not change while you’re gone.

So maybe I shouldn’t quit my day job.  They say that one day I’ll look back and cherish these memories.  Maybe I should just go on strike seeking higher pay.


After writing this and feeling pretty proud of my observations about the difficulties of motherhood, someones words sort of fell into my lap.  And I need to share because while it doesn’t change anything it does put things into perspective.  So if you’re reading my words with your fist pumping in the air and feeling validated like I did that your job is so tough and you deserve praise, you also need to read these words.