The If-Then Condition

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I’m rarely satisfied with things as they are.  I know I’m not alone in this.  A variety of these “if-then” clauses are going through my head at any given time, many of them contradictory.

If only I had straight teeth…

If only I cared less what people think of me…

If only I had some new clothes…

If only I were a professional dancer…

If only I lived in a warmer place…

If only my kids were older…

If only I had another daughter…

If only I weren’t so tired…

If only I could have a drink once in a while…

The problem is, I’m not sure what the “then” part would be.  Then life would be easier?  Then people would love me more?  Then I would be happy?

I’m thinking about the book “The Giving Tree” right now.

“I am too busy to climb trees.  I want a house to keep me warm.  I want a [husband] and children, and so I need a house.”

“I am too old and sad to play.  I want a boat that will take me away from here.”

I am too old to swing on branches.  I am too tired to climb.  I don’t need very much now, just a quiet place to sit and rest.  I am very tired”

If only I were married…If only I had a boat…If only I could just rest…

Today a lady at church talked about being happy in your current circumstances.  This was just minutes after my daughter jumped up very violently directly underneath me almost breaking my nose.  But the lady was old and she knows what she’s talking about.  So I listened.  She reminded me of what should be obvious but is still the hardest thing I think I will ever try to accomplish in this life.

If you wait until all the “If only”s have been satisfied, you will never be happy.

But…but…but I NEED to get my teeth fixed or I CAN’T be happy.  I NEED to live in a warmer place.  Cold weather makes me depressed.  There are so many things I want to do and I can’t do them until my kids are grown!  Yes, this is my attitude.  Today its “If when I go to the doctor tomorrow he can give me some direction on how to get my energy back, THEN I can be a good mother.  THEN I can be nice to my husband.  THEN I’ll be able to do DO IT ALL and not have to wait til my kids are grown.”

I think I need to refer back to this post.

I think I need to take a lesson from the tree.

“Come…sit down…sit down and rest”.

All we really need in life is a good stump.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The If-Then Condition

  1. You are simply a brilliant writer my darling girl. IF ONLY I could write like you…

    And I am so sorry about that singular (minutely crooked) bunny tooth that annoys you so much. Honestly Dr. E never ever said anything at all about it, much less ever suggesting having it straightened or of course I would have spent the $10,000 to do so. But your smile has just always been you, and it’s beautiful!

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